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In 2004, two Princeton scientists, Stephen Pacala and Robert Socolow, published a paper in the journal Science titled “Stabilization Wedges: Solving the Climate Problem for the Next 50 Years with Current Technologies“. The genius of the study is that it breaks down the problem of reducing carbon emissions into manageable parts. They visualize the problem and solution as a right triangle. The hypotenuse represents the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The bottom leg of the triangle represents no growth. The scientists divide the inside of the triangle into a series of “wedges” and they recommend measures that can be taken to flatten out each wedge. So, for instance, one wedge is “Efficient Cars” and the effort to flatten out the “car” wedge is “to increase fuel economy for 2 billion cars from 30 to 60 mpg”. Sounds simple, doesn’t it?

Still, I worry. Flattening out the wedge, as Bill McKibben points out in this month’s National Geographic, requires Americans to make some significant lifestyle changes. The auto industry hasn’t even reduced fuel economy one mpg in the last 25 years. Unless it gets too expensive, Americans will keep driving alone to work in their SUVs (with increasing chunks of time spent idling in traffic jams). While the wedges seem more “manageable” than looking at reducing carbon emissions as a single overwhelming and impossible task, I don’t see how Americans can “manage” to flatten out even one of the wedges. It’s getting late. We’re in Act III of the drama of climate change. It’s time for the deus ex machina.

Who will intervene to save us from ourselves? I’m thinking of a super hero. Mercifully, there IS a super hero who specializes in wedges. His name is Captain Underpants. He’s the only super hero with WEDGIE POWER. It will be his stiffest challenge yet. He has already vanquished the Talking Toilets, the Bionic Booger Boy, and the Incredibly Naughty Cafeteria Ladies from Outer Space. He is our only chance. CAPTAIN UNDERPANTS, WHERE ARE YOU?