hiester.com

Citing Albert Haynesworth’s ability to cause bloody gashes on his opponents’ faces, the Nashville Predators signed the Tennessee Titans defensive tackle to a five week contract to coincide with his NFL suspension. “There’s no place for his behavior in the NFL, but there’s plenty of room for it in the NHL,” said a team official who requested anonymity. “We watched the game film (of Haynesworth kicking Dallas Cowboys center Andre Gurode in the face multiple times, causing lacerations which required 30 stitches to close) and we liked what we saw. He’s just the kind of enforcer we’re looking for. He’ll make a heck of a hockey player if we can just teach him how to skate.”