Category Archivework
work 04 Jan 2010 04:58 pm
QUALITTY TESTER
This is a real job description I just saw on Dice.com
QUALITTY TESTERE*Pro Consulting service offerings include contingent Staff Augmentation of IT professionals, Permanent Recruiting and Temp-to-Hire. In addition, our industry expertise and knowledge within financial services, Insurance, Telecom, Manufacturing, Technology, Media and Entertainment, Pharmaceutical, Health Care and service industries ensures our services are customized to meet specific needs. For more details please visit our website www.eprocorp.com/ (OR) www.epro-consulting.com
Maybe they should try to find a prooffreadder before they hire a QUALITTY TESTER so as to improve the QUALITTY of their workk.
commentary &humor &satire &work 07 Nov 2007 05:14 pm
Decoding craigslist jobs/gigs ads
| Phrase | Translation |
|---|---|
| “Students welcome to apply” | We are cheap bastards |
| “Could lead to more work in the future” | We’re like Wimpy on the old Popeye cartoons, “I would gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.” In other words, we are cheap bastards and there will only be more work if we can get you to work for chump change just like you did on this job, sucker.” |
| “We’re looking for a Rock Star/God/Super Genius” | We are blowhard idiots who don’t have any money and we have delusions that some incredibly talented person with no self-esteem will come and do all the work for peanuts and make us rich. Until then, we are cheap bastards. |
| “We want a clone of MySpace/YouTube, etc. Compensation: $100″ | We took the brown acid at Woodstock and we haven’t come down yet. And besides, we are cheap bastards. |
| “We want someone who goes into a rage like Dennis Hopper in Blue Velvet at the mere mention of HTML tables.” | We read this on a blog and we don’t really know what it means or why it is important. |
| “Must be expert in Java, .NET, PHP, Oracle, MySQL, CSS, Flash, Photoshop, SAS, FORTRAN, Quark,COBOL, C,C++, and Dreamweaver. Knowledge of Excel and VRML are big pluses.” | We know nothing about technology, especially what technology is being used on this project and we just cobbled together some acronyms and words that ten different “tech guys” that we know sent us. |
| “Award-winning agency” | We made up our own contest and proclaimed ourselves the winner. Our moms were the judges. We want you to feel like it’s a privelege to work 12 hour days here for less than it costs to rent a dumpster because we are, after all, cheap bastards. |
| “Must be able to meet tight deadlines” | We lied to our client about what the project could do and now you have to pull three consecutive all-nighters to cover our asses. We’re not paying you overtime either because we’re cheap bastards. |
| Looking for self-starter who is also a team player | We have a lot of horrible legacy spaghetti code and some of it was written by people who still work here. You have to fix it and try to get along with the colleagues who are responsible for making your job a waking nightmare |
commentary &work 27 Sep 2007 05:49 pm
Birth, School, Work, Death.
Not much today except a quote (and the title of this post which was a record by The Godfathers).
Oh, did I forget to mention that among those things Semco doesn’t do is a Monday to Friday workweek? If rock climbing is more inviting on a Wednesday morning than a budget planning meeting, then break out the rope and pitons. If lighter traffic on a Saturday afternoon makes the commute to the office bearable, go for it. Yet, the seven-day weekend is more than permission to play hooky. It’s about creating an atmosphere and culture that grants permission to employees to be men and women in full for seven days a week. Why should the fun, fulfillment, and freedom stop first thing Monday morning and be on hold until Friday night? And that’s one why that we will revisit as the book moves forward because I believe no one can afford, can endure, or can stomach leaving half a life in the parking lot when she or he goes to work. It’s a lousy way to live and a lousy way to work.
-Ricardo Semler, author of The Seven Day Weekend