hiester.com » photography

Turn Left at the Stomach

Chris — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 18:44:18 +0000

Turn Left at the Stomach, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

Dysfunctional Adobe Photoshop Family of Bad Actors

Chris — Fri, 18 Jan 2008 15:41:00 +0000

Have you seen the new Photoshop web site? Who is directing these people, Ed Wood? It’s so obvious that these people are small-time actors and not really web designers, radiologists, etc. You can tell that the way “Adobe Photoshop” stumbles out of their mouths, like they’ve never said those words before. Plus, why are they all hunched forward with their arms akimbo? And why is it that only one person talks for the teams of two? Why not split their lines and have them really look like a team? I’ll admit I haven’t “watched their stories”, so I’m only reacting to the intro videos. However, there’s nothing in the intros that would make me want to watch further.

Nanatechnology

Chris — Tue, 12 Dec 2006 03:13:07 +0000

Nanatechnology, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

Blockbuster Children’s TV Trade!

Chris — Wed, 06 Dec 2006 23:42:10 +0000

Just one day after reporting that Lance Armstrong had been chosen as the new “Yellow Wiggle” in the Australian kiddie-supergroup, hiester.com has learned that the Armstrong deal fell through and The Wiggles traded Greg to the Teletubbies for Laa-Laa, the Yellow Teletubby.
Armstrong reportedly failed a blood-sugar test–not enough blood sugar. Blue Wiggle Anthony Field was apparently furious to learn that Armstrong was not a sugar fiend. “Look, if you want to entertain hyperactive kids, you’ve got to prepare yourself. You have to get jacked up on the same stuff they’re on. Do you think I would do that stupid pointing business if I didn’t down four cotton candies and half a case of pop rocks before the show?,” Field exclaimed. “Mr. Big Shot Seven-Time Tour de France champion thought he could come in here and treat us like domestiques. We get about 90 minutes to win over three-year-olds with ADHD with singing, dancing, acting, acrobatics and riding in our big red car. This guy is used to three weeks on a bicycle cheered on by a bunch of beaujolais-swilling, foie gras stuffed vacationers.”

A senior Wiggles management official who asked to remain anonymous said a press conference announcing the trade would be held later today. “It was a perfect fit. Greg can continue to perform since it’s normal for the Teletubbies to fall down–even faint. He’ll be able to pace himself. For Laa-Laa, this is a great opportunity to advance his career and maybe even learn a few words.”

Lance Armstrong Named New Wiggles Frontman

Chris — Tue, 05 Dec 2006 16:58:57 +0000

Referendum

Chris — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:14:33 +0000

Sitzpinkel, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

Don’t forget to vote on November 7th

Chris — Thu, 26 Oct 2006 02:07:27 +0000

This is not an endorsement for Rick Santorum.

ass-container, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

TIME Magazine Steals Idea from hiester.com

Chris — Thu, 19 Oct 2006 16:21:47 +0000

lucy_tail, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

I took my photo in August and uploaded it on September 5, 2006, then this very similar(even the tail points in the same direction/angle!) photo appears on the cover of TIME magazine on October 16th, 2006. I knew those editors were checking my photostream for ideas. I’ll be looking for a cut of whatever you guys are getting out of the YouTube/Google settlement.