Category Archivefake
fake &humor &politics 29 Jan 2009 02:41 pm
Blagojevich to Replace Simon Cowell on “American Idol” Panel

fake &humor &sports 19 Jan 2009 01:32 pm
NFL Decides to Scrap Playoffs and Super Bowl in Favor of More Lucrative and Accurate “Bowl Championship Series” Format
fake &humor &politics &satire &sports 02 Jan 2009 03:53 pm
Bush Administration Interviews for Vacant Detroit Lions Head Coach Position
fake &humor &politics 19 Nov 2008 03:46 pm
Obama Finally Weighs in on the Worst College Football Playoff Crisis in the Last 75 Years
A new Quinnipiac poll indicates that Americans view these topics as priorities for the President-Elect:
- Fixing the BCS and instituting a playoff system
- Clarifying what constitutes and illegal forward pass in NCAA football
- The Economy
- Adding 5 yards to the coaches boxes in college football
- Iraq
fake &humor &politics 19 Nov 2008 03:20 pm
Ailing American Bicycle Industry Demands a Piece of the Bailout Pie
fake &humor 17 Nov 2008 02:32 pm
Big Three Automakers Merge: New Company will be called General Crisis
Their first model is the Lame Duck.
fake &humor &politics &satire 13 Nov 2008 05:32 pm
Paulson Acknowledges that $700 billion not used to buy toxic assets, but will be used exclusively to send executives on expensive retreats at snooty resorts
Not quite, but close enough.
Step right up! Step right up for some of P.T. Paulson’s magical elixir. It cures sluggish lending, bad debts, economic constipation, why it even pulls the tractor trailers right up to the back gate of the Treasury so we can clear it out by January 20th, 2009 when those other suckers get to take over this lousy job. Get ‘em while they’re hot boys! $10 billion here! $20 billion there! Banks, insurance companies, car companies, who cares? You’re the CEO of Carpeteria? Well, all those folks who didn’t make their mortgage payments, but will still get to stay in their homes anyway–they are going to need new carpets sooner or later. We don’t want you to have an inventory crisis! Here’s $20 billion, how’ll that hold ya? It’s almost Christmas folks. Uncle Henry has got a little something for the stocking this year. How about $10 billion. That should let you take your gal out to a nice dinner and take in a movie, eh?
What’s this? Mayors looking to me for handouts? So they can fix some bridges and roads and hospitals? Look, buddy, why don’t you go talk to a bank about taking out a loan for that type of thing. Can’t you just float a bond? Do you think I’m a miracle worker just because I have $700 billion to blow in less than two months and I can blow it any way I want? My banker friends have to earn a living. How are they gonna keep their private jets flying when troublemakers like you want to butt in and take away their livelihood?
fake &humor &politics &satire 22 Oct 2008 03:27 am
New Bailout Provision Requires Participating Bank CEO’s to Move Into FEMA Trailers Until Funds are Repaid in Full