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Not much today except a quote (and the title of this post which was a record by The Godfathers).

Oh, did I forget to mention that among those things Semco doesn’t do is a Monday to Friday workweek? If rock climbing is more inviting on a Wednesday morning than a budget planning meeting, then break out the rope and pitons. If lighter traffic on a Saturday afternoon makes the commute to the office bearable, go for it. Yet, the seven-day weekend is more than permission to play hooky. It’s about creating an atmosphere and culture that grants permission to employees to be men and women in full for seven days a week. Why should the fun, fulfillment, and freedom stop first thing Monday morning and be on hold until Friday night? And that’s one why that we will revisit as the book moves forward because I believe no one can afford, can endure, or can stomach leaving half a life in the parking lot when she or he goes to work. It’s a lousy way to live and a lousy way to work.

-Ricardo Semler, author of The Seven Day Weekend

I want to get an interview for one of these jobs that say they’re looking for a “Rock Star”.  Then I want to send Keith Richards to the interview. I want to videotape the job seeker’s reaction when Keith walks in and says, “Well, you said you were looking for a rock star, mate? Here I am.”

The postcard you see here belongs to my wife. You probably think that this a humorous and ironic way of declaring that men are neither sensitive nor caring. There’s plenty of evidence to support this claim. For instance, in a recent column in the Philadelphia Inquirer science writer Faye Flam writes about a study on kissing conducted by George Gallup at the University of Albany. Flam writes:

More than half the students reported that kissing an object of desire could mysteriously kill the attraction. It wasn’t necessarily technique that made the difference, but something more elemental. “Sometimes their whole perception changed as a result of a single kiss,” says Gallup, whose paper was published in a recent issue of the journal Evolutionary Psychology.

Men, naturally, reported that even if the kiss was a turnoff, it wouldn’t stop them from pursuing sex.

There you have it. Scientific confirmation that men are really just lust-driven lizard-brained bipeds preoccupied with the prospect of sexual pleasure at all times in all places. It would seem that higher order concepts like sensitivity and caring are beyond our reach. We are staggering through the desert, just looking for a drink of water while clubbing approaching vultures and you want us to act like we’re having high tea with the Queen?

But wait! Keep reading the column and you learn that sensitivity and caring just might be biologically embedded into men without their conscious awareness. Flam reports:

Sex itself transmits some manipulative chemical messages, according to a more controversial paper Gallup published several years ago. He found women who had sex without condoms suffered less depression than those who had sex with them, attributing the difference to antidepressant chemicals in semen.

I wonder if the guy in the postcard is George Gallup.

I received an email newsletter today from Relevante containing this memorable passage:

Relevante is pleased to invite you to attend our 2007 Internal Audit Symposium. We have a great lineup of cutting edge topics … which are important to the internal audit world in today’s environment.

Internal Audit. Cutting Edge. Whoa, my oxymoron advisory system spiked all the way up to Krakatoan lava orange. Someone who thinks internal audit is cutting edge probably watches C-SPAN on their video ipod. I don’t know how I got on this email list. It must have been a practical joke. Then again, I have had an email account since the second Reagan Administration, so my addresses are scattered throughout the telecosm like Caesar’s last breath. But an accounting symposium for me? You can say “Accounting” and I’ll be asleep before you get to the “ing”. Go ahead and give me a root canal. It’ll take one of those 911 recordings of O. J. Simpson screaming expletives to wake me up.

As oxymorons go, the “cutting edge internal audit conference” might be the best one I’ve heard since I saw a “clean coal” billboard while I was driving my Fry-O-Diesel-fueled 1984 Mercedes 300SD across the Pennsylvania Turnpike. Did you know that my car is really “PZEV”, a “partial zero-emission vehicle”? What the hell kind of Orwellian nonsense is that? Partial zero? You can’t divide by zero folks. Anyway, I consider my old tank to be PZEV—it does not emit anything when it is parked and turned off. I guess it’s kind of like clean coal.

September 17, 2007

Phillies 13, Cardinals 11

Redskins 20, Eagles 12

Procter & Gamble today announced a new ad campaign to complement its GILLETTE CHAMPIONS series. The new GILLETTE CHEATERS ads will feature Barry Bonds, Tim Donaghy and Bill Belichick.

Here’s a sample from the upcoming TV ads which will debut this Sunday on the jumbotron at GILLETTE CHEATERS Stadium in Foxboro, MA.

Bill Belichick is hacking the sleeves off of his hooded sweatshirt with a new GILLETTE CORRUPTION razor.

BELICHICK: I never think about last week. I’ve moved on. The only crime is getting caught and I guarantee THAT will never happen again.

(Alternate concept: Belichick is shaving his assistant Matt “Shooting Star” Estrella).

BONDS: I can’t recall the past, today is all that matters. My beach-ball-sized head shines brighter than the Alcatraz beacon when I shave it with a GILLETTE CORRUPTION razor.

DONAGHY: Whether shaving my beard or shaving points, I only use the best, or at least the best I can get in prison.

Hooded sweatshirt you bought at a thrift shop 15 years ago: $3

Scissors to cut off sleeves at the forearm: $8

Hi-Def Video Camera: $45,000

Hi-Def Telephoto Lens: $38,000

Getting caught cheating, losing all of your credibility as a coach, locking yourself out of any chance at election to the Hall of Fame, calling into question three Super Bowl victories, giving the fans of the 31 other NFL teams a legitimate and justifiable reason for hating you, Becoming a “sign of the times”; a symbol for a society that puts winning and dominating above everything, even if it means cheating, doping, subverting laws and the constitution, lying, etc. : Priceless

Way to go, Bill.

In June I had a dream about the Super Bowl. Unlike most of my dreams, I was able to remember the two teams playing and who won. I can assure you that no handicapper, swami or sports pundit is picking this particular matchup. So here it is :

Super Bowl XLII: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Tampa Bay Bucaneers.

Winner: Pittsburgh Steelers.

Check back on February 4th to see if I am like Frank Cash in T-Bone Burnett’s song “The Strange Case of Frank Cash and the Morning Paper.”

Or perhaps both of these teams will be basement dwellers by mid-November.

Phillies playoff chances come down to this…, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.