hiester.com

Surface is so intelligent, it knows when to squeegee itself.

I worked for Yahoo! in 2006 as a contractor on the FIFA World Cup site. Our team consisted of about 50 people from 18 different nations, all located in Berlin. I noticed that whenever the topic of Yahoo! executives came up, some of the French Yahoos would mention someone named Theresa Mel. I couldn’t figure out who Theresa Mel was. I knew the names of many Yahoo! executives, but not this mysterious and powerful Theresa Mel woman. It would go like this:

Yahoo 1: “I hear that Jerry Yang and Dan Rosenzweig are going to be here for the World Cup Final.”

French Yahoo: “Yes. But I have also ‘eard that Theresa Mel is not coming.”

Finally, I figured out that Theresa Mel is the French pronunciation of Yahoo CEO non-executive chair Terry Semel.

This wouldn’t be on my mind at all if I hadn’t read in the New York Times yesterday (via Good Morning Silicon Valley), that Terry Semel made $107.5 million last year. Apparently, Yahoo! issued this statement, “Mr. Semel’s compensation for 2006 was almost entirely equity based and is, therefore, closely aligned with the interests of Yahoo’s shareholders.”

The Times article ended with that statement. Don’t you think a newspaper should ask a few more questions? Yahoo’s stock fell by 35% last year. How can Semel’s compensation be closely aligned with the interests of Yahoo shareholders? They lost 35% last year and he made $107.5 million. What kind of alignment is that?

Maybe Semel has a secret life as his French alter ego Theresa Mel. I’m sure Theresa Mel took a pay cut and declined the options rewards, as a sign of personal integrity and commitment to the company, until they successfully completed their reorganization and starting regaining some of the revenues and profits it has lost to Google and others.

(Disclosure: I do not own any Yahoo! stock)

Why would I use it on Windows?

During his keynote address at the WWDC today, Apple CEO Steve Jobs announced changes to the configuration of Apple’s retail stores. The Genius Bar is being replaced by the Obnoxious Sniveling Self-Righteous Dork with the Bloated Sense of Self-Importance Bar. The new iPhone booths will be manned by Apple “Phonies” whose primary skill is explaining that phones will not be available for six months and that promised features don’t quite work exactly as advertised. Finally, Apple Store employees will be introduced to a new source of technical information known as “The Apple Web Site.”

Really.