hiester.com

lucy_tail, originally uploaded by ChristophrHiestr.

I took my photo in August and uploaded it on September 5, 2006, then this very similar(even the tail points in the same direction/angle!) photo appears on the cover of TIME magazine on October 16th, 2006. I knew those editors were checking my photostream for ideas. I’ll be looking for a cut of whatever you guys are getting out of the YouTube/Google settlement.

Developing fake story…

Baltimore – Researchers at Johns Hopkins University’s Bloomberg School of Public Health released a report today announcing that the US Population has just passed 73,000,000,000.

Manchester, NH – DEKA Research today took the wraps off its newest invention: The SleazeCar.

SleazeCar is a fuel conversion kit that allows any automobile to run on Sleaze, an abundant, universally available and renewable resource that is a by-product of the American political process as well as many parts of the global business community. The composition of Sleaze is not completely understood, but is believed to consist largely of fear, feelings of inadequacy, egotism, greed, adrenaline and weasel oil. “We believe that SleazeCar could potentially reestablish the USA’s flagging superpower status,” said Dean Kamen, DEKA Research founder.

So just how does the SleazeCar system work? According to DEKA, the brain of the system is something called the Sleazerator. Kamen explains, “The Sleazerator is a revolutionary combination of materials and components that function much like the human brain. Wherever Sleaze is present, our system absorbs it through a network of nerve-like fibers that are painted onto the car in a thin polymer film. The film transmits the raw Sleaze into the center of the Sleazerator. The inside of the Sleazerator has a patented gray jelly-like mass that is similar to the brain. When the Sleaze enters, it begins to irritate and destroy the parts of the brain-like material containing hope, optimism and trust. As the Sleaze causes these elements to combust, huge amounts of frustration, anger and rage are produced. These are channeled into the drivetrain of the automobile and the kinetic energy of the vehicle restores the virtuous elements and the process repeats itself.”

Kamen believes that Sleaze will someday be used to power more than cars. “Some parts of the country have such limitless supplies that this new energy source could displace all other resources. For instance, we estimate that Washington, D.C. currently generates enough Sleaze to power the entire Federal Government plus all of the parts of the East Coast that Donald Trump is not already supplying. During the cross-country drive in our prototype vehicle, we drove down K Street and picked up so much Sleaze that we didn’t have to refuel until we got to Sleaze-rich Crawford, Texas.”

Film director George Lucas has been testing the Sleazecar. “I drove through Richard Pombo’s district a month ago and the fuel gauge just shot right up to full and I haven’t had to fill up since. People compare Pombo to Darth Vader, but let me tell you, the Darth Vader Sleaze readings up at Skywalker Ranch are miniscule compared to the hit you get just driving by Pombo’s district office. I’m driving down to Los Angeles this weekend and if I start to run low, I’ll just swing by Mel Gibson’s place.”

Stay tuned for future developments at www.sleazecar.com.